Sunday, 7 May 2017

TO ANDY UBA: WHY ON EARTH WOULD I WANT TO PASS OFF AN ACADEMIC QUALIFICATION THAT I DO NOT HAVE?

The above question seems to be directed to distiguished(?) Senator Andy Uba. No, it is not only him but equally all those Nigerians of every hue who on the one hand recognise and covet the public adulation to which well educated individuals are perhaps entitled. These on the other hand demur when it comes to burning the proverbial midnight oil necessary to come out with FLYING COLOURS. That this man Uba worked cheek to jowl with former President Obasanjo in the innermost sanctum of Aso Rock boggles the mind. And he also tried to be a governor of Anambra State. Imagine the nerve.
Would Andy Uba and those covering for him allow a "medical doctor" of identical plumage and track record to perform a surgical procedure on him or any of his loved ones? Or allow an apprentice pilot who was taught, on and off over a number of weekends, by his drinking buddy, to fly a plane in which he or they are passengers for a 9hour Trans-Atlantic trip? The answer is obviously a resounding NO!
It was more than ten years after I left Stanford University that I learnt via the Commencement Address by then CNN ace anchor, Ted Koppel, that Stanford DOES NOT AWARD HONORARY DEGREES! Period! I dug further into that matter. It was revealed much earlier that the founders had decided that if you wanted a Stanford degree, you better come and work towards it. There is no short cut! Was I ever so proud to learn that? If Stanford was a Nigerian institution, it would surely not attract one kobo in endowment.
Which brings us to the question of why young or not-so-young people will defer gratification and take on an onerous course of study in one academic discipline or the other. Pride? Service to the fatherland? To please parents? To measure up with peers? Etc, etc. The reasons are legion, but to be awarded an academic degree at any level connotes a proven achievement in both character and learning. As you go for higher degrees, an indication is provided that the awardee has the ability to pursue intellectual enquiry and independent thinking with the ability to stand up to his peers. Hence to claim to have a higher degree, not to mention a PhD is no small matter. This writer has had several occasions where I had to emphasize in order to remove all doubts, " No, I am not a Professor; actually I do not teach except in a training environment in the private sector. No, I am not a structural or electrical engineer although I have done a lot of work in that area." Because I used to hobnob with many Harvard Business School alumni in certain environments, it was natural for a good many to assume that I was one of them. However I dutifully corrected them, "I do not hold an MBA degree, not from Harvard, not from Stanford." The typical awe expressed by, "Who the hell is that guy?", was more than enough validation for me. Not that I or anybody should need that.
My professor of Extractive Process Metallurgy, Norman Parlee, like all profs do, tried his best to lure me to pursue one or two of his pet enquiries. Believe me, you don't want to know. I had declined telling him that I was already too educated for Nigeria as at that year 1979. I look forward to any fellow cuntryman who will debunk that claim of mine. In light of that, what then was Andy Uba trying to prove? That he can outsmart us all? He actually did, but not for too long. It would be interesting to do a postmortem to determine the amount of damage the polity sustained by having a man of such limited intellect and academic achievement, a man who has so much to hide, permanently looking over his shoulders, as a very close and trusted aide to President Obasanjo. Historians have so much work to do.

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